Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
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Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
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