I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon