I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
high people should be assigned attendants
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
