Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
These 17 Parents Decided to Cut Contact With Their Horrible Kids
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
17 People Reveal The Reasons Behind Their Foot Fetish
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.