I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
