whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.