Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
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She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
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I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy