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• (813): View more from Florida

  Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person

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• (917): View more from New York City

  had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.

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• (781): View more from Massachusetts

  im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose

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• (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?

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  21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn

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• (612): View more from Minnesota

  He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  we need ur ladder

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• (254): View more from Texas

  Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius

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• (519): View more from Ontario

  There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.

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• (608): View more from Wisconsin

  Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...

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• (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool

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  19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”

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• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up

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• (410): View more from Maryland

  Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..

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• (309): View more from Illinois

  They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.

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• (406): View more from Montana

  She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.

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• (416): View more from Toronto

  So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.

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• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard

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