yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat