My pussy is not your playground.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
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