it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
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long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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