i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
So apparently I’m into choking now
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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