If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
