i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
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