we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Randomize
