Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
