I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
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At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
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We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
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