We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk