I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Someone shit on the floor
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Hippo gnu deer
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
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