I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
