I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
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