u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
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