I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
