I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
i would one night stand the shit outta him
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
