Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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