You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
