Plan B is the new Plan A
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
