Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
