Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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