Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
