Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
