your thong is hanging out like whoa
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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