Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
