I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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