and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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