I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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