my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Randomize
