Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
