Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
