Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize