Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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