I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Randomize
