i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
