im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
