Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
i think my mom watched the whole time
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
