He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
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