I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize