Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
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