you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
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