Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Randomize
