when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
