its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
A+ Viking dick
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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