What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Randomize
