buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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