I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
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