oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
