Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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