why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
