tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Randomize
