I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
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