nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
