Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
