What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
