so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Randomize
