I hope mine doesn't look like that
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got her a Nickelback box set.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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