I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I didn't notice because vodka
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Randomize
