Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(813): View more from Florida

I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.

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(510): View more from California

You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying

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(256): View more from Alabama

It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.

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(706): View more from Georgia

We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.

(1-706): View more from Georgia

Where's it at?

(706): View more from Georgia

In your pants.

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The 21 Worst Ways People Have Been Dumped
Read it at the TFLN blog
(250): View more from British Columbia

Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...

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(304): View more from West Virginia

it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression

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(703): View more from Virginia

There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert

(1-603): View more from New Hampshire

Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.

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