when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
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I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
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after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?