I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
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