All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize