we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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